The Twins at six weeks

Whew. It’s already been six weeks. Here’s a quick update and a few photos.

Babies: Finley Belle and Fiona Bleu are sweet and cute. They are gaining weight. They are healthy. They are forming personalities. They are doing great.

Mom: She is tired in a way I’ll never fathom. I dive in to help with the babies, then I go back to work; she is all babies, all the time, but she is getting it done Super Mom style. Dudes: No matter who you are — captain of industry, infographics nerd, world champion racer — your wife is more bad ass than you.

Calorie management: Every calorie is precious, not just because Mommy made it, but because you want everything to go toward growth. If the baby is cold, and the calorie goes to warmth, or the baby is fussing, and the calorie goes to chaos, that’s a wasted calorie.

Time management: Every moment is precious, not just because this baby will never again be X days, X hours, X minutes old, but because the schedule is so crucial. You must heed the schedule.

The schedule: The babies eat every three hours. On the dot. With two people, it takes about an hour to get both fed, changed, consoled and back to sleep. Best case scenario: You have two hours to do everything else you need to to. If Dad is working and Mom is alone, it gets harder. If people are visiting and they don’t heed the schedule, it gets way harder. Once the babies are off schedule, the universe implodes.

Origin of the universe: I’m starting to think the Big Bang began with a tiny, infinitely angry ball of crying babies. When the babies get off schedule, it feels like the universe is collapsing into your brain.

Pinned: I’ve always been a busy bee, but this is ridiculous.

Sleep: Ha!

Visitors: People want to see the babies. That’s great. People want to help. That’s great. People want to come on their own schedules and do things the way they want to. That’s not great. The babies are running the show, and anyone who wants to hold when they should eat, or bounce when they should sleep, is jacking up the program. Babies get off schedule. Babies get fussy. Massive implosion. Visitor leaves. Mom and Dad suffer.

Help: I was joking with one very nice person that the ideal helper would ring our doorbell, place a casserole on the doorstep then leave. Two days later, she did just that. Sweet!

Baby registry do-over: If you’re about to have twins, lay off all the equipment. Ask for money. Money to hire help.

Photos: You know those crazy rides where it’s constant action — muddy rocky sketchy rooty steep broken parts random chaos — and you can’t stop to take pictures?

120 minutes to go …

Finley and Fiona at about four weeks.

The Twins at five weeks. Fiona (left) is more expressive. Finley is more chill. Most of the time. One thing about babies: Whatever is happening right now, it’s gonna change.

Finley and Fiona at almost six weeks.